Monday, 1 February 2010

In my own shadow?

A year ago I would have been so proud of the picture above. Now it's well down in the list of my pictures I think are good - there's that slide show of mine which resulted in the most wonderful feedback and it won't be in there. Then it struck me. I'm trying to be a perfectionist. The picture isn't so bad after all!

The odd thing is that I don't think I've ever tried to be a perfectionist until the last two months. In that time I've been told that I'm facing redundancy and the most important person in my life has cancer. I can't put two and two together and make four, I think I make it five or three or perhaps two-and-a-half. There are just too many things going on right now for me to make sense of them. Tonight, a close friend and colleague lost his father. Too many bad things are happening at once. Keera, another friend, is also facing a difficult time. Hopefully things will even out soon and those I care about will be around to tell stories of their eventual success. I know Pam will be and I'll be there to make sure it happens.

The moral of the story? I'm not sure I have one and even if I do, I'm not of the right mind to comprehend it. Perhaps in a few months or so when I can post something about the treat lady (Pam) arriving back in Hawaii I'll have a better idea of what I want to say. I hope so because even I can't make sense of what I'm writing, I just need to write it.

Pam gets her pathology report tomorrow (Tues 2nd) and she's scared and nervous. So am I.

Oh, it's the shadow of Mauna Kea with a sort of anticrepuscular ray combined with the earth's shadow and the eastern flank of the mountain with its cinder cones. It was taken on Sunday evening so too late for the slide show anyway!

8 comments:

Protege said...

Oh, I hope Pam will be ok, she is very kind and I love her blog. Give her my very best.
xoxo
Zuzana

Hilary said...

I'll be thinking best thoughts for your friend and for you.

Beep said...

Tom,
I am so sorry to have to tell you that I'm still going to be around to pester you :) My path report says they got it all! Ok, I have an incision that is going to be stubborn about healing, but I personally would rather have a few weeks of pain than cancer.

How can I ever thank you for how supportive you have been of me thru this?

love
Pam
xox

Beep said...

PS Protege and Hilary thank you so much for what you said here :)

Beep said...

PPS Ahem, Tom is really really good at everything he makes an attempt to do...and part of the reason for that is he is a PERFECTIONIST and has been since I've known him. Just wanted to submit an accurate report on this issue to brighten your day ;)

Hilary said...

So very happy to hear that, Pam. :) Yay you!

Tom said...

"I am so sorry to have to tell you that I'm still going to be around to pester you"

Pam - I believe it's common practise in the US for a patient to get a second opinion. Have you sought out that option yet?

Sigh, just when I thought I might get some freedom! ;)

In a local online forum I partake in there's a guy called Tom Lackey (I featured one of his cartoons in a recent post of mine). He said that the day the cancer is removed will be the happiest day of your life. He wasn't wrong!

Now I have to start planning that trip to CA!

Tom

Beep said...

Tom,

I will help you plan your trip. Leave for CA tonight and you will be here tomorrow :)

love
Pam